I am here. I sit waiting for something to happen. And just as the ball begins to roll, it falls off of a cliff and I have to push it back up the hill and start over. Who would have thought that trying to keep yourself sane would be so hard? But, you know... I really shouldn't complain... If I stop and take a look at my life from far away, it doesn't seem so bad. Maybe it just feels bad because I'm so close to it all the time. I need to step back. I need to evaluate my situation and find what I can get rid of so that I don't feel like a wad of silly putty that's lost all of its elasticity. All worn out and tainted by everyone's hands pulling me in every direction at once. Time to myself seems to be a thing of the past. Maybe that's just how it is... Maybe that's how its going to be for the rest of my life... I don't know. I hope this is making sense to someone. Anyone else but me. Maybe not. That's ok, though. I'll be fine... I'll be fine.